The start of every new relationship is all butterflies and happiness. Like every other start, it’s full of promise and excitement and people tend to get lost in it right from the get go. That other person is often everything we dreamed of—smart, funny, attractive, the whole works. However, if there are warning signs that point to our new relationship being a complete train wreck, then we shouldn’t ignore it.
Below are warnings signals to not ignore:
- They bully you into submission with guilt:
You missed an appointment three weeks ago and now you’re reminded of it every time there’s a discussion? Getting served with a classic guilt trip takes various forms: it could be an outright accusation that you don’t care for them as much as you should (or as much as they care for you) or it can come in a form of the silent treatment.
- Your core values are extremely differentand no one is budging:
You’re pro-life, they are pro-choice; You abhor the death penalty, they support it; you don’t want kids, they do—these are the examples of core values we rarely think about during the infant stage of a relationship. However, these things should be discussed as soon as you realize the relationship is getting serious.
This isn’t something that can easily be changed, so you may be ignoring differing values at an expensive cost. If you’re completely incompatible with the person, it’s better to acknowledge it early on and decide if saying goodbye is the best option.
- They are not happy being themselves:
Somehow, you seem to be the center their life revolves around. While this might be flattering, it’s also somewhat troubling. People can’t exist in a happy relationship alone—they first have to be happy outside of that relationship. If your partner is not fulfilled in themself, if they are leading an unhappy life and need to cling to you to get any sense of self-worth, it’s not a good sign. Sooner or later, your relationship isn’t going to be enough for them.
- They don’t seem to be interested in your opinion:
On the other hand, you might be starting a relationship where only you care what you think about in any given topic. If your other half is doing most of the talking and your opinion is of no value whatsoever now, it’s hard to imagine how it’s going to be down the road and that might be a bad signal.
It’s easy to make excuses for people we feel attracted to; however, it’s prudent to watch for these early signs in new relationships so we could spare ourselves more heartbreak further down the road.
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