Sex is one of the most powerful gifts God ever created. It was designed to bring a man and woman together in a physical, emotional and spiritual bond that would create pleasure, intimacy and also procreation. Marriages that neglect or misuse this gift are most likely headed for frustration and maybe even divorce.
Yes, sex is not all there is to marriage, but it is an important part of a successful marriage. Asides strengthening the physical bond between partners, it creates an emotional and even spiritual connection that can only be experienced by a couple. Sex can rekindle the spark and romance in a marriage. It can also be the cause of friction between couples.
Here are certain things every married couple should know about sex:
- Be in tune with your partner’s needs:
We are all built differently and no two people are exactly the same. Besides, men and women have different biological builds. While men are more physical, women are emotional. So, do not expect your partner’s sexual needs to be the same as yours. Learn to have open and honest communications with your partner and know exactly what they want. Respect your partner’s wishes and learn to put their interests before yours.
- Remember that foreplay is an ALL-DAY EVENT:
Foreplay doesn’t begin five minutes before you’re hoping to get it on. It should begin the moment you wake up in the morning. Every text message, every hug, every act of service, every phone call, every wink, every kiss, every “I love you,” and every interaction with each other is an opportunity to make a connection that could culminate in a great climax for you both! When you show genuine thoughtfulness to one another throughout the day, the night is more likely to end well!
- Talk About Sex:
Talk about your sex life, what you like, what you don’t like, and what you’d like to try. Do some things make you uncomfortable? Are there things your spouse could do that might make sex better? What brings you sexual fulfillment? How often would you both like to have sex? Ask as many questions you want and communicate well.
You don’t have to manage when you can express yourself to bring the needed change.
- Less Stress = More Sex:
The things that take up your mental and physical energy can impact whether you’re in the mood for loving up. Helping each other out can lighten the load and make you feel more like a connected team. Getting that to-do list done in half the time by working together frees you up for a little party later on. (Note: Sex can also relieve stress too!) Simply asking how you can help and meaning it can be a game changer.
- Sex is not a tool:
Some people have been raised to think of sex as a tool. Sex should be enjoyed by both partners and is not a tool that can be used to correct, reward, punish or control your partner. Rather than denying your partner of sex, communicate with them when you feel that they have wronged you. You can also reward your partner with other things asides sex.
- Don’t let kids disrupt your sex life:
Having children does not mean that your sex life should become a drag. Enjoy sex even as you have kids. Remember, sex strengthens the bond between you two. You can enjoy some intimacy with your partner while raising your kids. Also, one of the best gifts you can give your kids is the security that comes from seeing their mom and dad in a loving, affectionate and committed relationship with each other.
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