There is a old saying that “breaking up is hard to do.” Well, not only is it hard to do, but it’s hard to handle the aftermath and the emotional complications that burp up out of us when we’re in such a vulnerable state.
When a relationship ends, healing can take time. A breakup can be one of the most stressful and emotional experiences in life. Whatever the reason for the split – and whether you wanted it or not – the breakup of a relationship or a marriage can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling emotions.
Even when a relationship is no longer good, a breakup can be extremely painful because it represents the loss, not just of the partnership, but also of the dreams and commitments you shared.
A breakup seems to launch you into uncharted territory. Everything can seem disrupted: your routine and responsibilities, your home, your relationships with extended family and friends, and even your identity. A breakup can also bring uncertainty about the future. What will life be like without your partner? Will you find someone else? Will you end up alone? These unknowns can often seem worse than being in an unhappy relationship.
This pain, disruption, and uncertainty means that recovering from a breakup can be difficult and can take time. However, it’s important to keep reminding yourself that you can and will get through this difficult experience and even move on with a renewed sense of hope and optimism.
These tips can help you deal with your break up and help you start to move on:
- Take some time apart (Maintain some physical and emotional distance): Even if you both know you want to maintain a friendship, a little space for some time won’t hurt. Taking a break from texting and hanging out can help you both start healing.
- Don’t fight your feelings: It’s normal to have lots of ups and downs, and feel many conflicting emotions, including anger, resentment, sadness, relief, fear, and confusion. It’s important to identify and acknowledge these feelings. While these emotions will often be painful, trying to suppress or ignore them will only prolong the grieving process.
- Remind yourself that you still have a future: When you commit to another person, you create many hopes and dreams for a life together. After a breakup, it’s hard to let these aspirations go. As you grieve the loss of the future you once envisioned, be encouraged by the fact that new hopes and dreams will eventually replace your old ones
- Cultivate new friendships: If you feel like you have lost your social network along with the divorce or breakup, make an effort to meet new people. Join a networking group or special interest club, take a class, get involved in community activities, or volunteer at a school, place of worship, or other community organization.
- Avoid using alcohol, drugs, or food to cope: When you’re in the middle of a breakup, you may be tempted to do anything to relieve your feelings of pain and loneliness. But using alcohol, drugs, or food as an escape is unhealthy and destructive in the long run. It’s essential to find healthier ways of coping with painful feelings.
Recovering from a breakup takes time — probably more than you’d like. But try to remember that things will get easier as time goes on. These tips can help you begin the process of picking up the pieces and moving forward. Just remember, you will get through it, regardless of how hard things feel right now.
An interactive online community dedicated to women. Follow @thewcommunity on social media for your favourite lifestyle updates.